This is only day 2 of the 10 day liquid diet.
I am so uncomfortable!
I am so hungry!
I am so grumpy!
I feel so bad for my hubby...
Shopping at Costco yesterday was scary. Not for me, but scary for the customers who would stop right in front of me, leave their cart in the middle of the isle, and go to the sample stand. I had to fight the urge to run them over! I was so angry with them for getting in my way. Angry for leaving their fat cart in my way when all I wanted to do was buy my sugar free jello and my protein drinks and get the heck out of there! It was so frustrating to be stalled by these people. The not hungry version of Natalie would have patiently waited in line behind them and moved along when my turn came. Hungry Natalie is a completely different person. My glare seared through their chomping faces as I passed them by. They were my enemy. Tempting me to veer from my predetermined path. I survived Costco and so did the unsuspecting, evil sample eating jerks...I mean customers. That was yesterday.
Today was a little easier. I was still annoyed by every little thing this morning but I managed to change my attitude after some quality time with my mom. I'm beginning to realize that being uncomfortable is okay and that I will live through it. I got this fat by comforting myself with food and by avoiding activities that made me uncomfortable.
1. I'm uncomfortable at church. This is why I haven't gone in a while. Disclaimer: This is purely me. This does not reflect on anyone at church at all. Whenever I go, I am always welcomed with open arms.
2. I'm uncomfortable at work (this is why I request LC's all the time). Working 12 hour shifts caring for the ill, as a morbidly obese girl is freaking back-breaking.
3. I'm uncomfortable going out. It's just embarrassing.
What am I going to do about it? I don't know yet. But I certainly hope that I can form a healthy relationship with all three of these things that I used to enjoy. Tyler is speaking in Sacrament meeting tomorrow so I am going to muster up some courage, put on the one skirt that fits me, and listen to my adorable husband speak.
Hi there. Found your blog through OH. You are a couple weeks ahead of me. I am scheduled for July 16th...start preop diet on July 2nd. Not looking forward to it. LOL. Have been trying to squeeze in lunches and happy hours while I can. Amazing how much of our lives revolve around food. I think that will be a hard transition.
ReplyDeleteHi Jane! Thanks for reading! What is your preop diet like? Mine has been all liquid and it has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do! It has gotten a little easier since the first 2 days...
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